


Thirst Hunting

by asthmaticjedi



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Camping, Cryptid Hunter Robert Small, Cryptids, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 18:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11789376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asthmaticjedi/pseuds/asthmaticjedi
Summary: Craig agrees to go camping with Robert. He's not quite sure what he expects, but hopefully it won't end in death.





	Thirst Hunting

**Author's Note:**

> for my bro, xavi
> 
> thanks for making bro jokes with me on discord and sorry this took five million years

Craig had no idea what to expect when he agreed to go camping with Robert.

See, _usually,_ camping meant hiking during the day and eating shitty (or in Craig’s case, because he _is_ an amazing cook, great) food. 

Robert took the metaphorical rule book and threw it out the window and was now leading Craig down an unmarked path with Betsy in tow, who was sniffing the forest ground to her heart’s content. Craig was only sixty percent sure that he wasn’t about to be sacrificed to a dark Eldritch god. He reflexively reached for his phone, desperate to relieve any anxiety. 

“Don’t bother,” Robert called behind his back. _How the hell did he know?_ “There’s no signal this deep into the woods.” 

“Gotcha, bro.” They fell into silence again. Craig fidgeted, suddenly feeling the need to fill it with _anything_. “So, uh.” Craig forced a smile. “Where we headed, bro?” Robert didn’t reply, which did nothing to soothe Craig’s anxiety. “Bro?” he tried again.

“Heard you the first time,” Robert flashed a smile with a little too much teeth. “Ever been hunting?”

Hunting? At _night?_ “Can’t say I have, bro. Not huge on the whole killing-Bambi’s-mom thing.”

Robert laughed boisterously and pulled Craig into his side, casually slinging his arm around Craig’s shoulders. Craig froze slightly under the sudden contact. “Nah man, I’m not talkin’ about that kind of shit. I mean, like, cryptids.” 

Craig couldn’t help but sink a little into Robert a little, catching the scent of leather, whiskey, and…

Wait. “ _Cryptids?_ Like Mothman and shit?” Craig asked incredulously.

Robert snorted. “Did you and your college buddy read up that fake shit on cryptids together? Mothman is bullshit. Nah.” His eyes gleamed dangerously in the filtered moonlight. “We’re going after something bigger. Rumor has it there’s a wendigo in these here parts.” 

“Wendigo?!” _Abort, abort._ It didn’t matter how good the company was, Craig was _not_ about to leave Briar, Hazel, and River without a father. 

“Come on, Craig, where’s your sense of adventure?” Robert wheedled. “Plus,” _oh god, he’s smouldering at me,_ Craig thought. “Who’s gonna bail me out if I get into trouble?” Robert not so subtly flickered his eyes up and down Craig’s body.

_Well, when you put it that way…_ “Fine, bro,” Craig sighed. He shot Robert a glare. “But if anything happens…”

“I think your muscles can be put into good use.” Craig blushed. “If not, we let the wendigo rip our bodies apart for our sins.” 

Craig raised his eyebrows, unimpressed. “I thought the whole ‘repent for your sins’ thing was more of Joseph’s schtick, bro.” Robert’s face immediately shut down at the mention of their neighbor. Oops. “So, what’s the intel, bro? Got a plan?”

“Ol’ Betsy here will sniff her out.” Robert paused to give her an affectionate pat, his irritation seemingly gone. Craig eyed Betsy skeptically. Seemingly on cue, her ears perked up and started barking at the direction they came from and wagged her tail furiously. “What is it, girl?” Robert cooed (Craig definitely did not melt at that). Betsy replied with a more uncertain bark, and then a whimper. Craig and Robert slowly turned to the direction Betsy was barking like they were in a horror movie.

A pale human-ish figure stood a few hundred feet before the Betsy, the moonlight glowing behind them. Their pale skin almost glowed and their eyes glimmered, almost… red? Craig felt a chill go through his spine, and even Robert became completely still.

“Is that…” Craig trailed off.

“Yup,” Robert breathed, a huge smile spreading across his face. Craig’s heart _definitely_ did not skip a beat. “We found the wendigo.” 

Craig wasn’t quite sure what possessed him when he charged himself towards the wendigo. _Death by thirst for his local bad dad. Not the worst way to go, I guess,_ Craig mused to himself as he lept onto the wendigo. 

The wendigo yelped as Craig wrestled them to the ground and wrapped his arms around them. “Hey Robert,” he called excitedly. “I got ‘em, bro!” Silence. “Robert? Bro?” Craig craned his head towards his companion, who was… filming him on his phone? And looking at him with barely concealed adoration??

Taking advantage of Craig’s distraction, the wendigo wriggled out of his arms and stood up, looking indignant, weirdly enough.

Wait, what?

“While I applaud your display of physical prowess, Mr. Cahn,” a familiar voice said, “I would deeply appreciate if you did not include me in your demonstration.” 

Craig scrambled to his feet. “Oh my god, Damien, bro, I’m so sorry,” he stammered, blushing furiously. 

“Damien!” Robert jogged over with a huge grin over his face. “Sorry about that man. Craig here,” he accentuated with a punch to Craig’s arm, “jumped the gun.” Craig blushed even more and rubbed the spot Robert punched him. _Nobody who eats that much pizza, booze, and refuses to work out should be that strong,_ he thought, dazed and still high off the thrill of tackling what he thought was a cryptid (even if it is the nicest and most polite person in the cul de sac). 

Damien looked amused, flickering his between the two other men. “It’s quite alright, gentlemen. I realize that my midnight strolls may be, ah, _distressing_ to some that are unaware of my habit. Now.” Damien smoothed over his already perfectly pressed. “I think I’ve had quite enough excitement for one night.” Damien swept into a graceful bow and tossed a devious smile over his shoulder as he turned and walked in the direction he came from. 

“So.” Robert broke the silence. “Are we gonna talk about what happened, or…”

“You mean the fact that I definitely tackled our neighbor like some weird mating dance?” Robert raised an eyebrow and tried to suppress a giggle. Craig melted a little -- oh, who was he kidding, he melted _a lot_. You can do something stupid and reckless to impress me, bro.” He flashed a flirtatious smile. If Craig was reading this wrong, he could probably pass it off as a joke.

Robert hesitated, and Craig felt a flash of fear go through him. Fuck. He ruined this relationship before he could even get it started. The trip was ruined, and then they’d go back to camp and they’d sit in total silence until it was morning and then they’ll have to drive back to the cul de sac in the awkwardness lingering between them and then after he picked the girls up from Smashly’s they’ll want to know why his camping vacation ended a day early and then -- 

A warm pair of lips gently pressed against his. Craig awkwardly stumbled back in surprise, breaking the contact between them.

“Is that stupid and reckless enough for you, _bro?_ ” Oh god. There was that stupid, sexy, smouldering smirk. Oh wait, that was directed at _him_. 

Well then. 

Craig returned the smile and grabbed Robert by the lapels of his leather jacket. “I’m not sure, bro. I’ll need to see it again,” he teased. 

Robert giggled again and obliged, much to Craig’s happiness. _Definitely_ not what he expected, but in a good way.

**Author's Note:**

> this work is saved on google docs as "no problem boblem"


End file.
